The most famous
instance of a black man bleaching his skin white
belongs to none other than Michael Jackson, but
Sammy Sosa, despite not undergoing a full medical
bleaching procedure like Chicago's second favorite
MJ, is undoubtedly number 2 on that illustrious
inventory of illuminating integuments. However,
while most people would categorize bleached skin as
the centerpiece of Sammy Sosa's and Michael
Jackson's venn diagram, Sammy's short-lived White
Sox career was highlighted by one more parallel to
the King of Pop: Sammy's jheri curl.
Sammy's rocked numerous hairdos over the
years, and while the jheri curl may not be the
absolute favorite of this touched typist, the glory
of each spiraling sensation atop Sammy's slammin
scalp waxes a certain 80s nostalgic itch whose
cockles I typically lack the opportunity to properly
quell. That is to say, Sammy Sosa's jheri curl is a
sight which can only truly be appreciated under the
moonlight. As the classy kinks of his curls look you
right between the eyes and stop your heart, you
realize you've been paralyzed.
'Cause this is thriller.