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2021 So Far: HELL YEAH!
June 9, 2021


Eleven years, they've been keeping the Good Guys down, but finally, the Sox have opened up a can of whoop-ass on the entire American League.

When the worst noise ya heard in Tony LaRussa gettin' his panties bunched up over Mercedes downing a crushed Twinkie with a can of whoop-ass, Stone Cold Steve Stone calls that the best damn White Sox in a long time.

When Eloy Jimenez won't even step in the diamond for another bunch of months and we're still top-five in every stat with the bat, that's what Stone Cold Steve Stone calls raisin' some some hell.

Our boys are the best pitchers in the American League. I don't give a damn that Dallas Keuchel is a waste of cash. Waste some more cash, give the beardy boy a pack of Stevewiser's, and put it all on Stone Cold's cards because he would stink up turds all year long and it won't matter. WHAT?

We got Lance Lynn tossin' 1.23. WHAT?

Carlos Rodon 1.98. WHAT?

Dylan Cease . WHAT?

Giolito striking out 90. WHAT?

Ol' Stone Cold will step back on the mound himself and give every one of them Cleveland whatever-they're-called's a free base and a black eye for two innings, and Liam Hendricks and come right out and give them the ol' stunner for seven while Abreu and Grandal sock some dingers and run up the scoreboard, tell me then what LaRussa has to say to Mercedes.

You can bet your bottom dollar that the Chicago White Sox are gonna win the Central this year, and we'll win the pennant too, and that's the bottom line BECAUSE STONE COLD STEVE STONE SAID SO!